This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize