Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
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On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
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I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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