Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
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You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
that is very illegal...i love you.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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