the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole a fireplace last night.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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