I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize