btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
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You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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