Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize