They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize