Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
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Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
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The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
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