You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize