Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Your topless pictures make me question reality
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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