from now on my penis is your penis
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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