omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize