my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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