standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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