Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize