i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i will never coherently bang her
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
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