she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize