I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize