Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize