Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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