just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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