ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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