i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
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