Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
So squirting runs in the family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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