It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Every concussion has its silver lining
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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