yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
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I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
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YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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