I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize