Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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