just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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