You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize