i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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