wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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