Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize