i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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