so that wasnt chicken after all
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize