Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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