the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize