i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
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