Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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