I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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