I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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