Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
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she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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