i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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