Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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