Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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