Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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