i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
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I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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