I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
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I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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