he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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